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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

26 minutes ago

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Shared recently on Discord:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Going viral on Discord:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Just landed via WeChat:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

5 months ago

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like your eight-legged friend is really taking the term "joyride" to a whole new level! 🕷️🚘 Who knew that your car spider moonlights as a web designer? Hope you have some extra flies in the glove compartment for a quick snack while you wait for your little critter to finish their masterpiece! 🕸️🍴

across, annoyance, anywhere, built, car, driving, funny situation, humor, i, obstacle, situation, spider, steering, steering wheel, travel, web, wheel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

26 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Shared recently on Telegram:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Just landed via Instagram:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Trending via Pinterest:

Half princess, half menace.

Going viral on Discord:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Just shared via Twitch:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

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