Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.