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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

772 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,934

Funny Quotes Topics

13,908

Funny Quotes Images

10,934

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Trending via Telegram:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Reported on TikTok:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Making waves on Threads:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Making waves on TikTok:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Going viral on Instagram:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Spotted on TikTok:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Spotted on Discord:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you're already living in a Kanye West reality show, a simple hack is just another scene in the script 📱🔓😂 #KeepingUpWithKanye"

celebrity, even, hacked, humor, identity, irony, Kanye, know, privacy, surprise

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Trending via Threads:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Going viral on YouTube:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Live now on Telegram:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my train wreck of a life.

Just landed via Reddit:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Making waves on TikTok:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Going viral on Facebook:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

I put the mess in domestic.

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

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If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

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