Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!