Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

18 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,725

Funny Quotes Topics

15,374

Funny Quotes Images

12,725

43 minutes ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Reported on Threads:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Live now on Instagram:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Just landed via Messenger:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Trending via TikTok:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Spotted on Messenger:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Freshly posted on Slack:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

5 months ago

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the innocence of thinking high school was stress-inducing! Little did we know adulting would be a whole new level of chaos and confusion. Remember when the highlight of our day was worrying about passing a math test? Those were the good ol' days of blissful ignorance! 😅 #AdultingIsHard #StressLevel1000

adulthood, believe, disbelief, experience, high, high school, humor, i, life, life experience, school, stress, think, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

18 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,725

Funny Quotes Topics

15,374

Funny Quotes Images

12,725

43 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Just landed via TikTok:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Trending via WeChat:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Making waves on Facebook:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Just shared via Threads:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Just landed via YouTube:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴