Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

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My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

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I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.