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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has viewed:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has shared:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like β€œomg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has shared:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has shared:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has shared:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, β€œWhoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2433 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,595

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,595

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Twitch:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Spotted on Instagram:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Trending via Pinterest:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Just landed via TikTok:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Making waves on Discord:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Making waves on X:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Trending via Discord:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.
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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2433 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,595

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,595

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has copied:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has copied:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Optimist: The glass is Β½ full. Pessimist: The glass is Β½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡± has downloaded:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on Slack:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Trending via Instagram:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Breaking via WeChat:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Just landed via Twitch:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Seen just now on Threads:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Making waves on WeChat:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

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