Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.