I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

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Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

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I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

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The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

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IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

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I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

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Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.