I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.