There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

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Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

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You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

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Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

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Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

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In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

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No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

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Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

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The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

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Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

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I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.