I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.