Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.
  • I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.
  • Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.
  • You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.
  • Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.
  • Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.