Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.
  • Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.
  • There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.
  • Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.
  • I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.
  • I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.