The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.