Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If only my teeth were as white as my legs.
  • Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.
  • I’ve got midlife crises older than you.
  • One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.
  • I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.
  • I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.