Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,847

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Going bananas on Slack:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Trending via Messenger:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Trending via Messenger:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Seen just now on Threads:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

More funny quotes 👇

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

0

5 months ago

attention, being, enjoy, enjoyment, experience, irony, less, media, online, online experience, social, social media, website
Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

0

5 months ago

compassion, failure, humor, ideology, politics, socialism, work, wrong
Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

0

5 months ago

anticipation, communication, couple, couples, humor, i, long distance, long-distance relationship, love, relationship, wait, waiting
No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

0

5 months ago

babe, humor, joke, just, love, partner, relationship, soulmate, worry

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

13 shares on Discord this month:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Just landed via Snapchat:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Making waves on WeChat:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Spotted on Telegram:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Seen just now on Discord:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Just shared via Threads:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨