Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Freshly posted on X:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Shared recently on Discord:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Making waves on Slack:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Spotted on Telegram:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate team-building exercise! 🌍😂✨

collective, commentary, fix, humor, orgasm, sex, social, social commentary, unity, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

0

2 months ago

5, book, book review, eaten, eating, eating habit, emotional, emotional reaction, exaggeration, habit, hours, humor, i, rating, reaction, recommend, recommendation, review, reviews, stars, unwell
It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.

0

14 hours ago

actually, after, calendar, confusion, day, days, every, five, humor, just, last, procrastination, relaxation, Saturday, thinking, time, time confusion, waiting, weekend
Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

0

4 weeks ago

1868, dead, dead horse, going, hell, historical, horse, humor, imagine, outside, situationship
Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

0

2 months ago

before, horrific, humor, kinds, perfection, Q-Tip, things, tips, wonder, wrong
I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

0

2 months ago

depression, emotional, emotional investment, health, humor, i, invested, investment, irony, joke, manage, mental, mental health, mental health joke, mental struggle, people, sadness, say, stock, struggle
I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

0

2 months ago

animals, boar, glad, humor, imagination, imagine, insects, knocking, light, nature, only, time, wild, wild boar, Windows

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Instagram this month:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

27 shares on Threads this month:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Love is in the air fryer.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

57 shares on Slack this month:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Trending via Instagram:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Going viral on Instagram:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Trending via Threads:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Live now on X:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨