Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.
  • I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.
  • My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.
  • I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.
  • Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”