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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Breaking via Discord:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Just shared via TikTok:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Seen just now on Discord:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Trending via Reddit:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Spotted on Discord:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

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A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.
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Commentary:
🔦💡 When someone flips the light on without asking, it's like a surprise party you didn't want to attend! A thousand curses to the light-switch bandits out there – may they forever stumble in the dark when searching for their missing socks! 😂🔆

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Discord this month:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

39 shares on Telegram this month:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

13 shares on Discord this month:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

48 shares on Discord this month:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Going viral on Instagram:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Spotted on Twitch:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Just landed via Facebook:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Live now on Discord:

Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Trending via TikTok:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Just landed via WeChat:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Going viral on Facebook:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

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