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Commentary:
"Brilliant idea! Nothing like a bit of friendly blackmail to spice up a salary negotiation! 💸😂 Just remember to wink and chuckle for extra impact! 😉 #NegotiationSkills"

advice, boss, communication, everyone, humor, i, negotiation, next, pay, pay rise, rise, salary, tell, tip, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

0

2 months ago

anything, birthday, celebration, expectations, gift, government, humor, irony, knows, me, never
What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

0

2 months ago

bedtime, double, double entendre, entendre, humor, i, joke, know, language, language joke, linguistics, need, sleep, talking, wordplay
Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

0

1 month ago

after, again, blush, cute, cute moment, giggle, goodnight, i, just, late, late night, love, me, message, moment, night, over, reread, romance, said, text, texts
Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

0

2 months ago

aisle, aisles, around, confusion, everyday, everyday life, gangster, grocery, grocery store, humor, life, store, struggle
It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

0

2 months ago

accident, car, curb, driving, feed, humor, joke, little, okay, sometimes, treat
I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

0

2 months ago

ask, give, hell, humor, i, Kanye, million, money, right, think, time, timing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

15 shares on X this month:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Wake me when AI does housework.

99 shares on Discord this month:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Shared recently on Discord:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Trending via WeChat:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Shared recently on Slack:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Breaking via X:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨