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Commentary:
"Brilliant idea! Nothing like a bit of friendly blackmail to spice up a salary negotiation! 💸😂 Just remember to wink and chuckle for extra impact! 😉 #NegotiationSkills"

advice, boss, communication, everyone, humor, i, negotiation, next, pay, pay rise, rise, salary, tell, tip, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

0

2 months ago

cheat, cheating, evasion, finance, humor, i, joke, money, pun, satire, sleeping, tax, tax evasion
Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

0

2 months ago

absence, humor, intelligence, just, missing, people, screw, toolbox, whole
A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

0

3 months ago

adulting, always, anticipation, big, cheat, cheat code, code, forward, matter, motivation, outlook, positivity, small, something
Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

0

2 months ago

app, apps, dating, dating app, find people, finding, humor, Instagram, media, online, online dating, opinion, people, relationship, social, social media, story, watch
No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

0

2 months ago

better, comedy, family, humor, miscommunication, misunderstanding, modern, Modern Family, plot, show
One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

0

2 months ago

aging, change, cleaner, excited, excitement, fun, humor, minute, new, next, vacuum, vacuum cleaner, young, youth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

83 shares on Threads this month:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Trending via Reddit:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Going viral on Reddit:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Just shared via Messenger:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Spotted on Instagram:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Going viral on Messenger:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Just landed via X:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨