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Commentary:
"Brilliant idea! Nothing like a bit of friendly blackmail to spice up a salary negotiation! 💸😂 Just remember to wink and chuckle for extra impact! 😉 #NegotiationSkills"

advice, boss, communication, everyone, humor, i, negotiation, next, pay, pay rise, rise, salary, tell, tip, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

0

2 months ago

bite, chewphoria, favourite, favourite food, feeling, first bite, food, happiness, humor, joy, take
Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

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2 months ago

abyss, comedy, contact, customer, customer service, dark, dark comedy, existential, humor, important, scream, service, thank, thank you
Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

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2 months ago

ball, date, food, humor, line, meat, pickup, pickup line, pun, spaghetti, want
A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

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2 months ago

beautiful, beauty, day, email, every, humor, never, send, should, social, technology, tragedy, woman
The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

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3 months ago

bowling, clown, clown shoe, different, funny observation, humor, invention, observation, oh, person, reason, shoe, wear, well
I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

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2 months ago

better, communication, eavesdropping, enunciate, fight, hear, humor, i, little, neighbors, relationship, strife, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

58 shares on YouTube this month:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Making waves on Telegram:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Going viral on Reddit:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Trending via Twitch:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Going viral on Messenger:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Just shared via Pinterest:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Trending via TikTok:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨