Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,337

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You are the Monday of my life.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Trending via Messenger:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Trending via TikTok:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Spotted on Facebook:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Going viral on Messenger:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Just shared via WeChat:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Just landed via Facebook:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"That moment when your liver remembers the cycle better than you do! 🍻🤦‍♂️🔄"

addiction, alcohol, cycle, drinking, humor, recovery, regret, repeat, self-awareness, vicious, vicious cycle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

0

2 days ago

absolutely, being, confusion, creativity, ending, exactly, having, humor, idea, knowing, means, process, story, writer, writing, writing process
I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, coffee, doctor, sugar, vodka
Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

0

2 months ago

ask, communication, dating, economy, girl, humor, joke, relationship, terrible, wrong
Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

0

2 months ago

call, dance, humor, Macarena, morning, music
It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

0

2 months ago

almost, conversation, flirting, girl, humor, impossible, interaction, social, social interaction, talk
My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

0

2 months ago

animals, cat, cats, food, humor, knowledge, lasagna, pizza, turtle, turtles

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on X this month:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

69 shares on Threads this month:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

35 shares on X this month:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

98 shares on TikTok this month:

I am single, please disturb me!

23 shares on WeChat this month:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Trending via Facebook:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Making waves on Reddit:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Spotted on YouTube:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Trending via Discord:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Spotted on Reddit:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Trending via WeChat:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨