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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Making waves on Threads:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Just shared via Threads:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Live now on WeChat:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Just landed via Messenger:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Making waves on Slack:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Spotted on Slack:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Spotted on Discord:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Making waves on TikTok:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

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All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Strapless bras: fashion's version of duct tape—works in theory, falls apart in practice! 🚫👙🤣

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,305

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Just landed via Twitch:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Breaking via Messenger:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Breaking via Facebook:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Going viral on Slack:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Making waves on Threads:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

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