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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,902

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Spotted on Facebook:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Going viral on Discord:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Seen just now on Threads:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'she held the door, we're practically engaged now' syndrome! 😄🚪💍"

flirting, gender, gender stereotype, humor, job, kindness, man, mistake, misunderstanding, stereotype

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

1 month ago
choice, decision, humor, options, perspective, simplicity, things, ways
I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

2 months ago
am, aspiration, being, financial, humor, i, irony, joke, money, need, rich, step, wealth
So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

1 month ago
bed, count, exercise, humor, just, motivation, sit-up, struggle, trying
Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

2 weeks ago
active, active duty, after, combat, combat deployment, condom, deployment, duty, humor, retirement, tour, wallet, wallet condom
I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

2 months ago
breathe, breathlessness, existence, humor, i, ignore, love, lovey-dovey, man, marriage, marry, masculine, relationship, tall, tall man
I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

1 month ago
dislike, humor, i, mature, maturity, Monday, routine, week, whole, work

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Just landed via Threads:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

You can reach me by butterfly.

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

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As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏