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Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Making waves on Slack:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Just landed via Discord:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Making waves on Reddit:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Just shared via Facebook:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Just landed via X:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text highlighting cultural friendliness at a tech company with a humorous twist.

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Commentary:
Looks like there's finally a bug that everyone agrees is a feature! 😂👩‍💻✨

Asian, Asian girl, company, everyone, friendly, girl, here, humor, tech, tech company, workplace

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67 shares on Slack this month:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

71 shares on Slack this month:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

You only live once and thank God for that.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

Going bananas on Slack:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Trending via Pinterest:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Trending via Telegram:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

May you heal from that fanfic that never got updated.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

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Activity Log ✨

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨