Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,566

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Breaking via Snapchat:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Trending via Threads:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Just landed via TikTok:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Spotted on Slack:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Just landed via X:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Spotted on Discord:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

At least life has music.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, just make a playlist and dance it off! 🎵🍋🕺

humor, least, life, music, positivity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

0

4 months ago

discover, discovery, entertainment, even, humor, imagine, movie, Netflix, parent, parents, surprise
I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

0

2 months ago

attached, attention, brand, competitive, coupon, email, here, humor, i, lot, love, marketing, me, miss, people, relationship, saying
If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

0

2 months ago

catholic, Catholic Church, church, crime, crime story, history, humor, i, recommend, recommendation, religious, religious history, story, true, true crime
I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

0

2 months ago

anything, communication, else, email, emails, end, feel, free, humor, i, need, please, politeness, reach, sarcasm, stopped, writing
The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

0

2 months ago

call, humor, morning, people, radio, real, stations, wake, wake up
My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

0

4 weeks ago

communication, dead, distraction, face, hear, humor, i, listening, said, sarcasm, stare, superpower, talking, while, word

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

81 shares on X this month:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

48 shares on Discord this month:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Live now on Telegram:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Making waves on Telegram:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Live now on YouTube:

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Just shared via Discord:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

At least life has music.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨