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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,357

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Just landed via Facebook:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Spotted on Messenger:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Live now on WeChat:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Going bananas on Twitch:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Just landed via WeChat:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

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At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the gym, where the weightlifters envy your stamina and the cardio kings envy your strength…or is it the other way around? 🏋️‍♂️🏃‍♂️ In any case, it's all in a day's workout for the center of the universe! 😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on X this month:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

63 shares on Facebook this month:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

18 shares on X this month:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

48 shares on X this month:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

43 shares on X this month:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Being weird never goes out of style.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,291

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Breaking via TikTok:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Making waves on Twitch:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Seen just now on WeChat:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Just shared via Reddit:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Spotted on Discord:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Shared recently on Slack:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Just landed via Twitch:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

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