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Commentary:
"Going to the strip club and sighing until one of the dancers asks me what's wrong. Apparently, my sad face is not a hit on the stage 🤷‍♂️. Maybe I should stick to being a professional wallflower 🌸💃 #SadButFabulous"

activity, club, dancer, fun, fun activity, humor, me, nightlife, sighing, strip, strip club, what’s, what’s wrong, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

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2 months ago

humor, joke, leave, me, relationship, sarcasm, treat
Men are very good at being women lately.

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1 month ago

being, gender, good, humor, men, stereotype, woman, women
Thaw me like one of your french fries!

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2 months ago

cooking, food, french, french fry, fry, humor, joke, me, playfulness, pun, romance, thaw
Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

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2 months ago

diet, doughnut, food, hard, humor, i, sprinkles, struggle, temptation, thing, today
The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

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2 months ago

context, different, experience, food, hit, hit different, humor, sharing, yours
Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

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2 months ago

chores, dishes, everyone, gardening, great, hobby, humor, idea, keep, laundry, multitasking, procrastination, self-deprecating, shoutout, start

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Telegram this month:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

56 shares on Threads this month:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Live now on WeChat:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Spotted on Instagram:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Going viral on Facebook:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Spreading quickly via X:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Spotted on Threads:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Spotted on Slack:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Making waves on Instagram:

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

Going viral on Twitch:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Men are very good at being women lately.

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨