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"Living in that fine line between chaos and coziness 🏠🌀 Who knew that the 'lived-in' look could be so versatile? 🤔 #MessyHouseHappyHome"

chaos, cleaning, clutter, house, humor, mess, organization, point, sure

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

2 months ago
author, book, creativity, humor, joke, literature, page, writing
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

1 month ago
computer, humor, internet, marry, patience, person, real, relationship, slow, slow internet, test
I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

1 month ago
awake, bit, discussion, funny moment, hold, i, just, moment, nap, renewing, renewing vow, sneeze, vow, wife
I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

1 month ago
after, drive, home, house, humor, i, late, quick, rush, work
I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

1 month ago
cube, humor, i, ice, ice cube, joke, just, melt, patience, staring, talent
Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

1 month ago
anything, celebration, day, doing, doing nothing, holiday, humor, i, laziness, nothing, President’s Day, presidents, procrastination, promise

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

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Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

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You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

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We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Spotted on Twitch:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

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At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

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At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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