Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Making waves on Reddit:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Making waves on WeChat:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Just landed via Slack:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Spotted on Slack:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Making waves on Slack:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
August is summer saying, "I'm still here," while fall is peeking through like, "Are you done yet?" 🍂☀️

August, fall, humor, season, spirit, summer, transition, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

0

2 months ago

appearance, couple, eyebrow, eyebrow hair, hair, humor, me, personality, self-deprecation, villain, want
If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

0

4 days ago

advice, challenge, day, frustration, game, good, good day, having, humor, play, puzzle, today, word, word game, Wordle
Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

0

3 weeks ago

adult, awkwardness, crush, dating, feels, having, humiliation, love, ritual, someone
I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

0

2 months ago

attendees, band, barenaked, Barenaked Lady, before, bet, concerts, disappointment, expectations, humor, i, lady, lot, music, pissed, popularity
Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

0

5 months ago

attitude, humor, listen, second, slang, swag, turn
I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

0

2 months ago

believe, bro, communication, family, ghost, ghosting, humor, i, joke, me, personal, relationship, sarcasm, social, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

80 shares on X this month:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Just landed via Facebook:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Making waves on Messenger:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Freshly posted on X:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Just landed via WeChat:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Making waves on TikTok:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨