Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,612

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Live now on Reddit:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Spotted on YouTube:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

At least life has music.

Live now on Threads:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
When reality forgets to read the script! 😂✨🤪

acting, babe, communication, delusion, humor, misunderstanding, partner, relationship, right

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

3 months ago

addiction, analogy, app, cigarette, habit, humor, lighting, opening
Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

2 months ago

attitude, born, coming, conflict, forced, hater, humor, irony, personality, perspective, understand, understanding, where
You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

2 months ago

doing, doing nothing, humor, just, know, life, much, nothing, overwhelm, procrastination, productivity, relaxation, sit, tasks
God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

2 months ago

American, Americans, geography, God, humor, irony, joke, learn, learning, war
I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

2 months ago

annoyance, design, furniture, humor, i, inconvenience, issue, movement, moves, rush, take
Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

2 months ago

brag, entertainment, humor, me, movie, sleep, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Fries, not lies.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Spotted on Instagram:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Going viral on Telegram:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Live now on WhatsApp:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Just landed via Telegram:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨