Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,551

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Going viral on Facebook:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Spotted on Instagram:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Live now on Instagram:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When reality forgets to read the script! 😂✨🤪

acting, babe, communication, delusion, humor, misunderstanding, partner, relationship, right

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

2 months ago

animal, architecture, beaver, humor, otter, study
I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

2 months ago

anything, awareness, celebrity, celebrity culture, culture, fame, humor, i, know, miss, nostalgia, opinion, thought
Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

2 months ago

catch, catch up, friend, friendship, life, life update, lorebombing, new, new friend, socializing, thirty, update
Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

2 months ago

boys, city, culture, even, fantasy, fantasy humor, Gandalf, geek, geek humor, girls, green, humor, lord, Lord of the Rings, me, Moria, nope, parody, pop, pop culture, rings, said, satire, take, too, where
Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

1 month ago

humor, knows, met, never, psychology, secret, somewhere, therapist, unknown
If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

2 months ago

activity, before, breaking, breakup, Christmas, date, dating, deviled, deviled egg, egg, eggs, exchange, feeding, fun, fun activity, gift, gift exchange, gifts, start, Thanksgiving

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Slack this month:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

19 shares on Slack this month:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

97 shares on X this month:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

80 shares on Slack this month:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Broadcasted on X:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Just landed via YouTube:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Going viral on WeChat:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Trending via TikTok:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Just shared via Telegram:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Going viral on Twitch:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Just shared via Instagram:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Going bananas on X:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨