Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.
  • Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.
  • I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.
  • Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.
  • Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?
  • Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.