Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I woke up alive again.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

4,060

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Trending via WhatsApp:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Spotted on X:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Just landed via Messenger:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Spotted on Messenger:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

2 months ago

0

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the prehistoric pedicure method – a true blast from the past! 🦕💅 Who needs nail clippers when you have dinosaurs to keep your toenails in check? Just imagine the cardio workout from all that running! Talk about a unique fitness routine. 😂 #ThrowbackThursday #DinoManicure

back, days, dinosaurs, exercise, good, good old days, humor, just, naturally, nature, nostalgia, old, prehistoric, running, toenails, trim

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily life, days, feel, frustration, humor, idiots, just, life, perspective, realize, relatability, sarcasm, self-awareness, surrounded
Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

0

5 months ago

attitude, fear, humor, know, maybe, Monday, motivation, scared, us, week
If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

0

2 months ago

Adele, culture, hello, humor, i, joke, knee, knees, lionel, Lionel Richie, music, music reference, pop, pop culture, prediction, reference, richie, sing, think, weather, weather prediction, wordplay
Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

0

2 months ago

deception, give, humor, irony, lying, people, politics, president, satisfaction, sense, stupid, truth
Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

0

2 months ago

celebrity, humor, Kardashian, marriage, marry, new, new plan, ok, plan, relationship
Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, away, creature, fear, giggle, humor, imagine, ran, run, spider, us

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

39 shares on Threads this month:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,031

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Freshly posted on Discord:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Trending via Snapchat:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Shared recently on Threads:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Breaking via Slack:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴