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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has viewed:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has viewed:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has shared:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has bookmarked:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has copied:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,477

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Spotted on WeChat:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Going bananas on Twitch:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Making waves on Threads:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Going bananas on X:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Breaking via Pinterest:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is β€œew.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

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Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?
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Commentary:
"Haha, those beavers really know how to make a splash in the construction industry! 🌊🦫 Maybe the little rats are just trying to keep up with the latest trends in civil engineering, you know? πŸ’ΌπŸ”§ Who needs a hard hat when you've got a tiny rodent-sized hivis vest? πŸ€πŸ‘·β€β™‚οΈ Wishing them good luck with their miniature dams and waterworks! πŸ› οΈπŸŒ²

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

27 shares on Slack this month:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Teens be like, β€œYou know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,488

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has viewed:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has bookmarked:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has viewed:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has copied:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has shared:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has copied:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¨ has shared:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Just shared via Discord:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Spotted on Twitch:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Seen just now on Slack:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Spotted on Facebook:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Trending via Pinterest:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

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