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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Just shared via YouTube:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Live now on LinkedIn:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Spotted on Discord:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Spotted on Discord:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Trending via Reddit:

I woke up alive again.

Live now on YouTube:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

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Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Haha, those beavers really know how to make a splash in the construction industry! 🌊🦫 Maybe the little rats are just trying to keep up with the latest trends in civil engineering, you know? 💼🔧 Who needs a hard hat when you've got a tiny rodent-sized hivis vest? 🐀👷‍♂️ Wishing them good luck with their miniature dams and waterworks! 🛠️🌲

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Reddit this month:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

11 shares on Threads this month:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

44 shares on Discord this month:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,295

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Shared recently on X:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Live now on Telegram:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Seen just now on Facebook:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Seen just now on Twitch:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Making waves on TikTok:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

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