Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a bouquet of wilted roses and awkward dinners when you can have all the chocolates to yourself and binge-watch your favorite TV show instead? 🍫💁‍♀️ #SingleAndWinning"

being, better, day, freedom, humor, independence, relationship, self-love, single, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day, wrong, wrong relationship

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Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

92 shares on Discord this month:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

16 shares on X this month:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Freshly posted on Threads:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

Trending via Discord:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Spotted on Discord:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Seen just now on X:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Seen just now on X:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨