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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,303

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Going viral on Messenger:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Trending via YouTube:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Live now on Slack:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Just landed via TikTok:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Going viral on WeChat:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

2 months ago

0

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Staying in an Airbnb is like embarking on a mystery adventure – unlock the hidden treasures behind that mysterious closet door! 🗝️🕵️‍♂️ Who knows, you might find a portal to Narnia or just a dusty old vacuum cleaner! 😂 #AirbnbMystery"

activity, Airbnb, best, closet, curiosity, fun, fun activity, humor, locked, locked closet, mystery, staying, thing, travel, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

0

5 months ago

finding, good, humor, new, new ways, news, procrastination, time, waste, wasting, wasting time, ways
Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

0

2 months ago

almost, effort, give, goals, going, humor, motivation, procrastination, self-deprecation, today
The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

0

2 months ago

ability, aerobic, boredom, exercise, fitness, greek, Greek words, humor, word, wordplay, words
I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, beautiful, creativity, emotion, everyone, feel, humor, joke, pain, poorly, something, transformation, turn, weird
You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

0

5 months ago

after, evening, humor, know, management, minutes, next, procrastination, relax, relaxation, thing, time, time management, tiredness, work
You’re like if “nope” was a person.

0

2 months ago

humor, nope, person, personality, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on X this month:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

35 shares on X this month:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

41 shares on Discord this month:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

84 shares on Threads this month:

He took my last fry, your honor.

71 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

36 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Men are very good at being women lately.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,437

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Seen just now on Slack:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Spotted on X:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Just landed via Twitch:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Going viral on Messenger:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

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