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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

294 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,563

Funny Quotes Topics

17,619

Funny Quotes Images

15,563

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Going viral on TikTok:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Making waves on Discord:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Going viral on Telegram:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Turning sarcasm into empathy: my latest unintentional superpower! 😆🦸‍♂️🔄

attitude, born, forced, hater, humor, irony, perspective, understand, understanding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

2 months ago

balance, body, burning, burning question, day, human, human body, leisure, leisure time, question, rest, sufficiency, thought, time, weekend, work life, work-life balance
I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

4 weeks ago

apathy, care, dating, emotion, humor, i, indifference, love, me, relationship, romance
Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

3 months ago

children, hiding, humor, just, lost, mom, parenting, shopping, Target, wander
Absurdity is the spice of life.

2 months ago

absurdity, fun, humor, irony, life, quirkiness, spice
I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

2 months ago

expression, finger, gratitude, humor, i, me, middle, middle finger, sticking, sticking up, support, thank
Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

4 weeks ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

11 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Spotted on TikTok:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Shared recently on Threads:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Spotted on Snapchat:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Going viral on Slack:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Shared recently on Facebook:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Live now on Slack:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Going viral on Telegram:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Trending via Telegram:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Absurdity is the spice of life.

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨