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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Trending via Instagram:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Breaking via Instagram:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Spotted on WeChat:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Just landed via TikTok:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Breaking via Instagram:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Witty text about someone reluctantly understanding others' viewpoints with a humorous edge.
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Commentary:
Turning sarcasm into empathy: my latest unintentional superpower! 😆🦸‍♂️🔄

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

15 shares on X this month:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Icarus loved hot wings.

56 shares on X this month:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,647

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Trending via WeChat:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Just shared via Reddit:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Just landed via Facebook:

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

Going viral on WeChat:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Going viral on Slack:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

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