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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Sometimes, when you go with the flow you end up drowning with everyone else.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Spotted on Discord:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Seen just now on Slack:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Making waves on Threads:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Going viral on Instagram:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Going viral on Pinterest:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Live now on Instagram:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Just shared via Snapchat:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Sure, let's give the robots jobs that don't require rhyming skills—ocean cleanup instead of crafting haikus! 🌊🤖🗑️ #RobotsOnTheJob"

AI, artificial, artificial intelligence, cleanup, eco-friendly, environmental, environmental humor, humor, intelligence, need, ocean, ocean cleanup, pick, plastic, poetry, pollution, robots, technology, wit

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Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

12 shares on X this month:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

86 shares on X this month:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Going bananas on Discord:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨