Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,756

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Breaking via Threads:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Going bananas on Discord:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Live now on Reddit:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Trending via Facebook:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I just wanna buy $16 worth of a meme coin and sell it for $2.6M two weeks later.

Making waves on Telegram:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Seen just now on Discord:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

4 weeks ago

Humorous quote about AI and robots, blending environmental concern with playful wit.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure, let's give the robots jobs that don't require rhyming skills—ocean cleanup instead of crafting haikus! 🌊🤖🗑️ #RobotsOnTheJob"

AI, artificial, artificial intelligence, cleanup, eco-friendly, environmental, environmental humor, humor, intelligence, need, ocean, ocean cleanup, pick, plastic, poetry, pollution, robots, technology, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

1 month ago

arts, break, chan, humor, i, irony, jackie, Jackie Chan, legs, martial, martial arts, say, trouble, used, want
Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

4 weeks ago

ancestors, ancient, family, Funny, great, humor, joke, oh, sarcasm
This year, the feliz is not navidading.

4 weeks ago

Christmas, festive, festive season, holiday, humor, phrase, season, Spanish, Spanish phrase, wordplay, year
The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

4 weeks ago

30, credit, credit score, debt, economy, finance, giving, humor, irony, money, people, score
Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

1 month ago

baby, being, cry, eviction, humor, joke, newborn, parenting
Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

4 weeks ago

activity, coming, corner, escape, event, found, fun, fun activity, hide, hiding, humor, i, lights, noise, party, social, social event, us

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Twitch this month:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

79 shares on WeChat this month:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

All roads lead to disappointment.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Trending via Threads:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Making waves on YouTube:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Shared recently on Discord:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Shared recently on Slack:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Spreading quickly via X:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Going bananas on Slack:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Breaking via TikTok:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨