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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,681

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Spooking my way through life: fabulous but forever needing a ghostly GPS! 👻✨🌲

fabulous, forest, forest ghost, ghost, Halloween, hauntingly, hauntingly fabulous, humor, inner, lost, self-expression, spooky

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

0

2 months ago

advice, climbing, dumpster, funny scenario, give, humor, i, ironic, ironic situation, me, personal, personal advice, scenario, self-deprecation, situation, unexpected, unexpected wisdom, wisdom
Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

0

6 months ago

apology, here, humor, just, laziness, nap, relationship, single, stay, taking
Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

0

2 months ago

again, coworker, coworkers, day, even, every, guy, never, quit, think, year’s
I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

0

2 months ago

air, air conditioner, attitude, conditioner, cooling, humor, i, joke, personality, sarcastic, vent
Text her when the moon looks pretty.

0

2 months ago

advice, communication, humor, looks, moon, night, pretty, romantic, text, texting
Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulthood, aging, changes, favorite, humor, life, life changes, peeler, vegetable, welcome

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

54 shares on X this month:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Making waves on Facebook:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Spotted on Twitch:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Shared recently on Telegram:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Going viral on Telegram:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨