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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,820

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Going viral on WeChat:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Spotted on TikTok:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Running after a ping pong ball is the ultimate cardio workout nobody asked for! 🏓😂🏃‍♂️

after, ball, chasing, dehumanizing, humor, ping, ping pong, playful, pong, satire, sports

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

0

2 months ago

bond, character, fat, film, humor, i, james, James Bond, parody, ready, stereotype, think, world
Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

0

2 months ago

alone, happiness, happy, humor, irony, money, too, wealth, yes, yours
I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

0

3 months ago

boredom, entertainment, feeling, feeling lost, finish, free, free time, frustration, hate, i, know, life, lost, show, time, watching
I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

0

2 months ago

am, comfort, determination, even, fashion, hoodie, house, humor, i, leaving, strings
70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

0

5 months ago

communication, couple, different, home, humor, marriage, relationship, room, yelling
I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

0

3 months ago

12, back, came, childhood, humor, i, memory, never, nostalgia, password, passwords, procrastination, security

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

73 shares on Threads this month:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

34 shares on Slack this month:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

11 shares on X this month:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Trending via YouTube:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Making waves on Instagram:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Just shared via Twitch:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Spotted on Facebook:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Spotted on Telegram:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Going viral on Slack:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨