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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Clubbing is like avocados – some people can't get enough, while others are just waiting to be guac-free! 🥑🕺 #PhaseOfTheNight"

activity, clubbing, experience, fun, fun activity, get over, humor, nightlife, over, party, phase

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, humor, management, meeting, meetings, minutes, office, productivity, time, time management, workplace, wrapped, year
Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

0

2 months ago

back, heartbreak, humor, Instagram, life, media, men, relationships, ruin, social, social media, story, whole
The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

0

2 months ago

actually, flag, humor, joke, review, single, star, state, symbol, Texas
There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

0

2 months ago

dream, ever, funny observation, humor, observation, phone, reason, sleep, technology, used
Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

0

3 months ago

AI, before, birth, born, dead, death, dystopia, future, glad, got, humanity, humor, i, internet, life, technology, time
Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

0

2 months ago

career, dating, humor, job, just, market, relationship, right, same, scene, stay, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

73 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Trending via Instagram:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Making waves on Slack:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Trending via Pinterest:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Just landed via Instagram:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨