Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I think God was high when he made me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Breaking via X:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Spotted on Telegram:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Just shared via Discord:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Spotted on Instagram:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Trending via Twitch:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Trending via Reddit:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.
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Commentary:
"Here's to coffee: Saving lives and preventing crimes since forever! ☕️🚓 Who knew a cup of joe could be the ultimate savior of our sanity and legal record? 😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Going viral on WeChat:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Trending via Pinterest:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Live now on Twitch:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Going viral on X:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Trending via YouTube:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

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