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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,567

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Trending via Twitch:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Just landed via Telegram:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Trending via WeChat:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

6 months ago

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Commentary:
I spend so much time consulting my imaginary debate team that I've basically become a psychic 😂🔮🤔

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

0

2 months ago

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The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

0

3 months ago

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Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

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2 months ago

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I hope this email makes you quit your job.

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5 months ago

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Farting, but with eye contact.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, contact, eye, eye contact, fart, funny situation, humor, interaction, moment, situation, social, social interaction
Imagine being social on social media.

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2 months ago

being, communication, humor, imagine, interaction, irony, media, online, online interaction, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

76 shares on Threads this month:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Just landed via Messenger:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Farting, but with eye contact.

Imagine being social on social media.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨