Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Goalies must feel like the loneliest poeple at a party – all dressed up in their gear, waiting for someone to take a shot at them! 🥅⚽️😂"

ever, game, goalie, humor, lonely, question, sports

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

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2 months ago

always, bring, car, family, family reunion, freedom, humor, independence, own, own car, reunion, rule, take, take off, travel, want, whenever
I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

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2 months ago

chaos, dysfunctional, humor, just, life, life struggles, positivity, self-deprecation, smile, struggles, train, train wreck, wreck
Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

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2 months ago

activity, day, fun, fun activity, humor, long day, phone, playing
I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

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2 months ago

homeless, humor, irony, joke, language, wit, wordplay
Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

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2 months ago

computer, humor, insecure, insecurity, joke, password, pun, security, technology, too, worry
At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

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2 months ago

acting, celebrity, comedy, cruise, film, film industry, humor, industry, own, point, stuntman, tom, Tom Cruise

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

38 shares on Slack this month:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

12 shares on Telegram this month:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

37 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Going bananas on X:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Going viral on Facebook:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Spotted on Reddit:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Spotted on Slack:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Just shared via WeChat:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Live now on Pinterest:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨