Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”
  • You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.
  • If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?
  • At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.
  • I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.
  • You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.