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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Making waves on Slack:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Just landed via TikTok:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Going viral on WeChat:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Going viral on TikTok:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Live now on TikTok:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤔🧺 "I'd say the washing machine and dryer are like a dynamic duo on the job – they spin cycles and tumble together, tackling laundry loads like a well-oiled team! But when the workday ends, do they share secrets during downtime or just ghost each other until the next shift? The mystery of laundry room friendships! 🤣👚👖"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Spotted on Telegram:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

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