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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

358 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,627

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,627

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,324

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Going bananas on Discord:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Just landed via X:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Just shared via Twitch:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Just shared via Instagram:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Freshly posted on X:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Just landed via Slack:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Doc, if I can vibecode anything and everyone else can vibecode anything, then what’s my competitive advantage?

11 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to find a competitive advantage in vibecoding is like trying to find Wi-Fi on a deserted island 🌴😅📶

advantage, anything, coding, competition, competitive, competitive advantage, Doc, doctor, else, everyone, humor, i, question, technology, vibecode

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

2 months ago

companionship, connection, humor, loneliness, love, monsters, search, searching, self-discovery, share, someone
Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

2 months ago

back, digital, digital footprint, embarrassment, footprint, God, humor, media, nostalgia, oh, online, online embarrassment, past, past posts, posts, privacy, share, social, social media, social media humor, somebody, something, sometimes, think, timeline
I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

2 months ago

being, cleaning, feel, glasses, humor, i, joy, know, never, package, perspective, sorry, UHD, upgrade, vision
I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

2 months ago

anger, annoyance, breathing, daily, daily routine, frustration, got, hate, humor, i, know, list, lot, mad, me, routine, sarcasm, sigh, someone, something, yesterday
People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

2 months ago

anything, banana, celebration, costume, event, humor, outfit, own, people, shit, unique, wear
(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, bra, British, flirtation, guy, humor, intimate, moment, right, unhooking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Twitch this month:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

44 shares on Slack this month:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

80 shares on X this month:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Hang in there, it gets worse.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Sorry, I’m late. I was pumping up the jam.

Spotted on Telegram:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Just shared via Threads:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Trending via Twitch:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Just shared via Slack:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Just landed via Discord:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Doc, if I can vibecode anything and everyone else can vibecode anything, then what’s my competitive advantage?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨