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Commentary:
"Remember, you're not just any water – you're Fiji water! 💧💎 Don't settle for pond-level treatment, because you're pure, refreshing, and definitely worth more than a murky puddle. Stay sparkling, darling! ✨💦"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

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2 months ago

busy, busy life, exhaustion, girl, hard, humor, life, sleepy, sleepy girl, struggle
My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

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2 months ago

bedtime, charge, humor, i, life, mess, own, put, responsibility, self-control
I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

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6 months ago

cooking, food, humor, i, kitchen, needs, smoothie, spoon
Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

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2 months ago

activity, baseball, broke, fight, game, humor, i, joke, sports, unexpected, yesterday
Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

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5 months ago

again, cassette, cassette tape, flip, me, music, over, play, retro, tape
Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

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2 months ago

demon, everyone, got, hair, humor, joke, OMG, once, possessed, possession, prank, something, supernatural, transformation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Threads this month:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

59 shares on Threads this month:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

36 shares on X this month:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Going bananas on WeChat:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Going viral on Slack:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Just landed via Snapchat:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Seen just now on X:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

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Activity Log ✨

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨