Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Remember, you're not just any water – you're Fiji water! 💧💎 Don't settle for pond-level treatment, because you're pure, refreshing, and definitely worth more than a murky puddle. Stay sparkling, darling! ✨💦"

comparison, confidence, Fiji, Fiji water, humor, let, pond, pond water, positivity, self-worth, treat, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

0

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, earlier, humor, humor quote, ID, irony, laziness, much, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, sleep, someone, think
I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

0

2 months ago

better, confidence, disagreement, humor, just, stubborn, yours
When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

0

2 months ago

assumption, going, hate, humor, i, making, me, relationship, say
If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

0

2 months ago

accusation, alibi, anxiety, crime, going, humor, introvert, prison, social, social anxiety, too
Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

0

2 months ago

am, bath, bubble, bubble bath, girls, guess, humor, i, irony, legs, library, media, picture, say, social, social media, take, where
Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

change, ever, excited, excitement, food, humor, kid, likes, new, parenting, tomorrow, unpredictability

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

99 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

12 shares on Discord this month:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Icarus loved hot wings.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Seen just now on Slack:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Spotted on Facebook:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Shared recently on Discord:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Spotted on Slack:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨