Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,571

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Going viral on Snapchat:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Elevator music is bad on so many levels.

5 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's a hilarious way to elevate your sense of humor! 🎶😂⬆️

bad, elevator, elevator music, humor, joke, levels, music, pun, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

2 months ago

ask, astrology, being, ever, feelings, humor, Mercury, only, perspective, reflection, retrograde, self-centered, stop, think, yourself
And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

6 months ago

family, great-grandchild, humor, i, inheritance, leave, legacy, screenshot, screenshots, technology
Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

2 months ago

celebration, comment, event, funny comment, holiday, humor, okay, public, public holiday, sports, sports event, wild, Wrestlemania
I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

2 months ago

afford, cutbacks, employed, employment, financial, financial struggle, hire, humor, i, irony, job, job market, market, me, money, right, self, self employment, self-employed, struggle, thinking
You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

2 months ago

board, board game, game, humor, irony, jail, luxury, luxury tax, money, Monopoly, old, old game, people, person, rich, rich person, tax, tell, wealth
The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

5 months ago

culture, holding, internet, movie, old, old movie, people, preservation, society, together, upload

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Breaking via YouTube:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Seen just now on Slack:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Going viral on Slack:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Going viral on Telegram:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Going viral on Messenger:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Elevator music is bad on so many levels.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨