Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Reading some things is like doing mental gymnastics… but with extra facepalms and eye rolls thrown in for good measure. 🤦‍♂️🤯 #BrainRecoveryModeActivated"

brain, ever, having, humor, just, little, magnificently, read, reconcile, something, space, stare, stupid

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

0

2 months ago

confession, dating, even, guy, humor, i, love, relationship, unrequited, unrequited love
I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

0

2 months ago

disappointment, expectations, humor, i, learn, marriage, relationship, request, sabbatical, today, works
I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

0

2 months ago

bigger, bigger problems, comparison, creativity, honesty, humor, i, new, problems, quaint, sarcasm, solutions, solve
Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

0

1 month ago

90, blue, blue light, car, crazy, driving, enforcement, going, law, law enforcement, light, lights, lol, me, police, red, red light, sarcasm, speeding, stupid, tailgate, top, traffic, while
If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

0

2 months ago

availability, ever, friendship, here, humor, joke, need, nothing, support
At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, big, big break, break, career, hip, humor, life, life transition, mean, perspective, transition, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Messenger this month:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

33 shares on Threads this month:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

20 shares on Slack this month:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Breaking via Facebook:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Going viral on Facebook:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Just shared via Messenger:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Making waves on Facebook:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Trending via Telegram:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Spotted on Threads:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨