Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Going bananas on WeChat:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Just shared via WeChat:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Going viral on Instagram:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Going viral on Messenger:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Spotted on Telegram:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Going viral on Twitch:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Live now on TikTok:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about Stranger Things featuring a humorous wig-wearing character warning others.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you realize the Upside Down is just a bad hair day away from world domination! 😆👨‍🦱🔄

being, every, guy, just, scene, stop, stranger, Stranger Things, things, wig

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

2 weeks ago

day, expectation, fix, humor, i, irony, joke, just, paid, payment, road, should, ta, tax
“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

1 week ago

5-year, 5-year plan, funny response, humor, i, movie, next, plan, procrastination, response, short-term, short-term plan, think, week
I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

3 weeks ago

bag, disrespectful, food, humor, i, independence, me, real, serving, serving size, size, snack, tell
I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

2 weeks ago

brain, brain cell, cell, cells, creativity, humor, i, idea, kiss, love, thought
I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

1 week ago

animal, animal lover, cheeseburger, contradiction, cow, double, eat, eating, food, humor, i, lol, lover
I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

3 weeks ago

alarm, back-up, back-up alarm, backup, fail, humor, i, kid, morning, oversleep, parenting, sleep, wake up

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on X this month:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

29 shares on X this month:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Live now on Threads:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Shared recently on Threads:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Making waves on Telegram:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Making waves on YouTube:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Keep the laugh going 😂

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨